Every time I'm faced with a decision I split myself in two.
I then live both choices to figure out which is better.
I end up arguing with myself in the end.
An argument of eternity.

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Alright, the time you've all been waiting for. The winners of my contest!

Since there were so little contestants I had to drop third place. I'm sorry guys. But next time, tell people about it so there can be more places to be won.

Alright so the new prizes are (Also have no job so can't pay anything right now)
1st place- Artwork by me. Anything you want to see me draw. Keep in mind I don't have photoshop. Also three of my favorite works of yours featured in my next journal.
2nd place- 3 features of your work in my next journal.

I'm sorry that the prizes suck ass now but I'm not getting paid anymore... I don't have a job or anything. So on with the winners.

First place goes to... Galthux! For his work on
So tell me what you want art work wise by me and I'll get right on it.

Second place goes to.... Tiger4evr! For the work on
Look for your features soon!

Alright, now that the contest stuff is out of the way how bout some updates.

I'm now a civilian again. Its kinda nice. But I shoulda lined up a job before hand. I'm now jobless, no schooling, living with my mother... I thought I'd be doing better than a lot of people. I was for a while. In the military I didn't have to worry about anything. I was getting paid all the time. Free housing, food, clothes. Discounts on almost everything. I'm not saying I'd go back to it. I'm just saying that for a while I was doing better than most of the people I know. Now I'm doing worse. I'm nothing now. A deserter of dreams. I don't have a job. I'm not going to school. Don't have a car. Live with my mom. I don't have any insurance at all. I'm a bum... Like I always seemed to be but wouldn't admit it.

When faced with the choice to leave or stay in the military I saw many versions of myself. One that was in civi's. One in the dress blues. One in utilities. And more I can't remember right now. Each one had a point to give. The one in civi's argued that the Navy wasn't doing what I thought it would. It wasn't getting me ahead. Dress blues argued that it was an honor. It was making so many people proud. Made me feel good that I was in. Utilities argued that sure it wasn't what I thought but it was giving me so much. Utilities said to go back to boot camp mode. Become a zombie until the fleet comes for us.

I thought about it. I was so proud to be in. But at the same time I was so depressed. I know it wasn't the fleet but it was just so horrible. Those in power were hungry for it and abused there power. They say they were there once. It doesn't show. If they were there once then they'd try to make it better. Make it more interesting for us. It was just so dry. It was worse in high school. I was just so bored. There was nothing to do. And I need stimulation. I need to have my mind working to be happy. I don't just want it, I need it. I'm happiest when my mind is stimulated. Working out math problems, planning out events, thinking of new stories or artwork to start, having conversations for hours. Thats when I'm happiest. Activity. I can't be in one place. I won't be happy.

So yeah... And for those that don't know I've actually been diagnosed with Bipolar. I had 7 doctors diagnose me. So I'm pretty sure its true.

Ummm... Oh I was thinking on having a party. Give me something to do with my time. Probly on the 21st. My mom's place for those that know it. I don't know what will be happening. Probly just a lot of gaming, movies, internet, and junk food. And maybe I can steal Momo's camera and make little music vids or something with yall that want to participate.

Oh and I have new vids on youtube. Look me up as YakumiKun.

Alright I'm done now I think.

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Please don't crush my feeble heart.
Hold it close and don't let go.
For if you drop it.
It will shader.
A million broken pieces.
My heart on the floor.